Here I am, less than 48 hours until I leave for Fort Jackson, and I find I am a source of mixed feelings and emotions. I am excited to enter this part of the journey as I have been working towards it for nearly a year and a half. I am also having a “what the hell was I thinking?” feeling as I am nervous as all can be. I admit I have had the thought of resigning and walking away except I don’t quit so here I am, packed, ready to go, and not really sure what I am getting myself into.
But then, there is my family. I love my wife and daughter and I have to leave them behind for 3 months. Now, I know with modern technology I can talk face to face with them, call on them on the phone, or even send an email to them. I know this but it won’t be the same as being there. I won’t get to snuggle with Lisa at night as it gets cooler and I will miss my daily hugs from Sophia. I also think of all those wonderful family traditions I will miss this year:
- This is the first Thanksgiving I will not share with Lisa since we started dating 12 years ago.
- I will miss putting up the Christmas tree and decorating the house.
- I will miss picking out the family Christmas ornament this year.
I know all of this but a wise person told me that anything worth doing is worth a sacrifice. This is what I am called to do so I have to accept that this is worth the sacrifice to do what God has called me to do.
The funny this is that I think Lisa will handle this better than I will. She is the stronger one of the two of us and will be just fine. I have been busy finding people that Lisa can call for help in case something happens. I am doing this for my peace of mind (it is a guy thing) because I want to make sure she has help if she needs it but she handles absences better than I do. Seminary brought weekly absences and she handled them well while I am a mess when she travels.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder so my heart will be growing fonder as we go along. This is an adventure in our journey of faith and I am looking forward to what is next even while I am going to miss my family.
The Timothy Blog 
I remember those feelings throughout my life. I know now that God will only send me where He needs me to be.