My Head Just Won’t Stop

It’s nearly midnight and I find my brain is just running at full speed. I have so much on my wind that it is turning to worry and I can’t sleep. I know people have said when you keep sleep, count sheep or talk to the Shepherd but sometimes that is easier said than done. I spent some times focusing on a verse that brings me comfort:

If you are tired from carrying heavy burdens, come to me and I will give you rest. Take the yoke  give you. Put it on your shoulders and learn from me. I am gentle and humble, and you will find rest.This yoke is easy to bear, and this burden is light. -Matthew 11:28-30 (CEB)

In this verse, at least to me, Jesus is telling us that we are going to have difficult work ahead of us. There are going to be tough days. We are going to be exhausted by the work on the kingdom. But there is a but. We don’t go it alone. We may have a yoke to do the work but we also have Jesus to help us with the work.

My head may be running at full speed right now because I have so much on my mind but it is not running alone. Jesus is with me and will be with me. I know this in my heart and I need my head to slow down and stop trying to out-think not only my heart but God as well.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (The Message)

We don’t need to out-think ourselves because this life has enough challenges without adding our self to the challenge. I guess I just needed to get up and put my thoughts out there into a blog so I can lay back down and reflect on this message. I hear God speaking to my heart in these words and it is just what I needed to hear.

I don’t know why I continue to be amazed that God speaks to me just when I need it. It really does take being still and focusing on God to hear God.

God’s Presence Within and All Around

I am reading a book on Celtic spirituality and devotion. One of the sections focuses on the story of Creation. The title of this post came from a devotional idea and today I was walking through gardens and meadows and I was aware of God’s presence all around me. This picture caught my attention because of the way the water was moving through a small set of rapids. It was a moment of peace and calm and beauty and God’s presence all in one. God’s presence was in the way the branches were moving with the wind and the way the light played in the shadows.

I wonder why God’s presence is felt more at different times than others. I know God is with me all the time but today while I was walking, I felt God’s presence around me in all things of creation. It was a beautiful moment and I paused and just basked in God’s presence. It was almost as if I could feel God holding me.

I don’t want to over think this moment because I tend to do that but I believe while I was walking, I was focused on what was around me. There were no distractions. No cars. No music. No other people. Just me and creation. I think that is the difference. There was nothing to take my attention or to keep with God’s presence in that moment.

It was a powerful moment that I needed. I basked in God’s presence and I didn’t want it to end but then I am reminded of the words of Revelation:

I did not see a temple there. The Lord God All-Powerful and the Lamb were its temple. And the city did not need the sun or the moon. The glory of God was shining on it, and the Lamb was its light. -Revelation 21:22-23 (CEB)

If today was a taste of heaven, I look forward to it. In the meantime, I experience the peace of God’s presence just when I needed it and it was a good feeling.

For God and Country: The Family

Here I am, less than 48 hours until I leave for Fort Jackson, and I find I am a source of mixed feelings and emotions. I am excited to enter this part of the journey as I have been working towards it for nearly a year and a half. I am also having a “what the hell was I thinking?” feeling as I am nervous as all can be. I admit I have had the thought of resigning and walking away except I don’t quit so here I am, packed, ready to go, and not really sure what I am getting myself into.

But then, there is my family. I love my wife and daughter and I have to leave them behind for 3 months. Now, I know with modern technology I can talk face to face with them, call on them on the phone, or even send an email to them. I know this but it won’t be the same as being there. I won’t get to snuggle with Lisa at night as it gets cooler and I will miss my daily hugs from Sophia. I also think of all those wonderful family traditions I will miss this year:

• This is the first Thanksgiving I will not share with Lisa since we started dating 12 years ago.
• I will miss putting up the Christmas tree and decorating the house.
• I will miss picking out the family Christmas ornament this year.

I know all of this but a wise person told me that anything worth doing is worth a sacrifice. This is what I am called to do so I have to accept that this is worth the sacrifice to do what God has called me to do.

The funny this is that I think Lisa will handle this better than I will. She is the stronger one of the two of us and will be just fine. I have been busy finding people that Lisa can call for help in case something happens. I am doing this for my peace of mind (it is a guy thing) because I want to make sure she has help if she needs it but she handles absences better than I do. Seminary brought weekly absences and she handled them well while I am a mess when she travels.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder so my heart will be growing fonder as we go along. This is an adventure in our journey of faith and I am looking forward to what is next even while I am going to miss my family.