This morning, I feel the need to write a journal entry (since my blog has taken the place of my journal for now).
I will admit it – I am a doubter. There is a scene in The Polar Express where the boy picks up a bell from Santa’s sleigh and shakes it only to hear the bell say “doubter“. That is me. I am the one who perpetually doubts despite everything God has shown me and despite everything God has done for me.
Why am I talking about doubt? Because I am doubting this morning. Yesterday was the accomplishment of a goal and the culmination of a year’s work and I should be excited and ready to go. Instead, I am doubting and worrying about what is next. I am my own worst enemy. Everything God accomplishes in my life and I still doubt. It is days like this that I really hate myself. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I sink into self-doubt and begin to question what God is doing in my life.
I don’t know if there is an answer to all of this or not but it is part of who I am and something I do struggle with each and every day. If I am not careful, my doubts can consume me but I know that God is there and God breaks through my doubt in the end.
The Timothy Blog 